Employment Toolkit Workshop

Give Yourself Permission

I had the opportunity to begin reading an amazing book by author Keisha A. Rivers Shorty called "Note 2 Self", it is a book that helps one reflect their life's journey.  Whether you realize it or not, you will go through it; it's inevitable, it is simply up to you the outcome.  

Life is a journey, just like relationships, and we have to learn to give ourselves the permission to succeed, to fail, to learn, to wonder, to DO.  In my life's journey, there have been highs and lows, there have been times when I would ask myself....why did I do that, why did I waste that energy, why why?  Those are my times of reflection as I choose to learn from why I do what I do.  I had to give myself the permission to reflect and then ACCEPT what I did and do.  Then it is up to me to make the CHANGE if necessary.   Throughout this entire process, one has to focus and let go of the clutter.  RELEASE! 

Give yourself permission to succeed - to thrive, to prosper, to grow.  It's your right!  In the journey, there will be times will you will fail to accomplish a goal, but it will come if you stay persistent.  In the journey, you will learn, if you choose to pay attention.  You have the right to wonder, ask questions, you always need to do that.  You are obligated to DO!  Make it happen! 

My hope for you is that you allow yourself to evolve, to progress, to be all that you are destined to be.  We are relational creatures and there will be people who come into our lives who will teach us, hurt us, try to use us, and love us.  You too will teach, you may hurt someone, you may use others and hopefully you will know true love.  Give yourself the permission to LOVE, love brings about change.  Be still, wait on it, it will come....

Real Talk the Movement Los Angeles

A Change of Heart "Letting Go of Bad Habits"

Did you ever wonder if the person in the picture is the same one you see when you look in the mirror?  Did you ever wonder that once in a relationship with someone you say you truly love, it will last a lifetime?  Those are questions that people ponder.

We constantly evolve and in our evolution, change comes; we age, we mature, we become more wise.  We some times have a change of heart.  We're simply not the same people we were in our teens; the happy go-lucky kid who didn't have a care in the world.  There it is..."care" in the world.  With the cares of this world, we take on so much that it can begin to change the way we think, the way we see ourselves and the way we see others.  We all want happiness and peace for our lives and in order to receive them, we have to learn when to keep some things and when to release or let go of others for our own survival.  Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have a few bad habits that we know we need to "Let Go" of.    I have a bad habit of not filling my tank up with gas.  Friends constantly tell me, "LaTonya, it is better on the car that you fill your gas tank up.  Also, it prevents you for having to put gas in your tank everyday."  I hear it over and over again, but my "bad" habit was....I would not fill my gas tank up even though I knew it was for my good.  The question is, "why didn't I?"  I had to dig down and ask myself that question.  It became a bad habit of mine because I looked at gas stations as wasting my time, "I had to go".  You may shake your head but I guarantee you have something.  What is your bad habit? 

With that bad habit, many of us want relationships but are not willing to let go of selfishness.  The older we get, the more we tend to hold on to our bad ways.   How do we "let it go?"  First we have to recognize the bad habit, then we have to be willing to release it and work on the release, consciously.   I literally now go the gas station and make myself fill up the tank!  It has been my struggle but I'm getting there...

We then have to allow people who truly love us make us accountable.   If you find yourself around someone who is constantly tearing you down about your bad habit or blaming you, that's not a good look and the truth be told, something is going on with them that they haven't dealt with.  We all have right connections and you want to make sure you align yourself with the right connection destined for you.  Don't try to make a square fit in the round circle.  Have enough faith to believe the right fit will come and you will receive the ultimate abundance for your life.  

I am willing to let go of bad habits, but I'm not willing to allow one to take advantage of self.  We all are damaged goods, no man is perfect.  But there is so much in store for us if we learn to let go of the bad and embrace the good and "life."  Take a moment and reflect on the things you want to see changed in your life, the things you desire and even the places you'd like to experience.  Every morning, meditate on those things, open yourself up to truth and faith.  Your heart can be renewed, it can be repaired, it simply can RECEIVE!

Declare it!

This blog was written by the founder of Real Talk the Movement, LaTonya Washington

LaTonya Washington, Founder

Sex, Love & Celibacy....

Eat the Apple (Photo by Will Sterling during our Alter Ego Photo Shoot)

Is it possible to have peace of mind and be in a relationship without avoiding sex, love or marriage? Have you ever wondered if things would have been different with that possible true mate if you waited before giving up the "cookies?"  Does it really matter in the mind of a man if a woman becomes physically intimate with him prior to the "relationship?"  As a woman, how do you view a man who comes at you physically before really getting to know you?

Just the other day, I had a great conversation with a close friend and we talked about celibacy.  He asked, what is the definition of it?  I said it is to abstain from sex.  He then asked, does that mean to abstain from intercourse with another person or abstain from any type of sexual pleasure?"  At that point, he made me put my thinking cap on.  Though I have my personal views on sex, love & celibacy, I'm always curious about what other people say about it.  People have different definitions of celibacy, just like fasting.  Some people go on a water fast, some a TV fast, no sweet fast, etc.  Do people view celibacy the same way?  Boy I can't wait for the next Real Talk the Movement!
It takes immense self-discipline to abstain from anything.  No one is immune. So how can the ordinary person cultivate peace of mind, serenity, psychological and emotional stability while at the same time engaging in a relationship that is full of passion and chemistry? 

This thing called Love and Relationship entails many attributes.  It takes those persons involved to be honest, upfront and state how they feel about certain things as it relates to sex, celibacy, family, finances, and more if they look for their relationship to proceed. 

Do know, never feel you have to have sex with someone to get them to fall in love with you...it does not work.  Love is a many splendid things but there is much more to it than just sexual intimacy BUT it does require intimacy.  If you choose to be celibate, be okay with it.  If you choose to have a sexual relationship, be okay with it.  You simply need to know what you want to do that no form of manipulation was involved.  Sex, Love & Celibacy.....join in on the conversation!

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Bond or Not to Bond...That is the Question!

All people desire love,  not only do they desire it, I believe they want to give it.  How they give it and receive it is another story.

This past month at Real Talk the Movement IE and LA, we had the opportunity to go from the dating phase to the bonding phase with the definition and understanding of both.  It was unanimous that most people date for the following reasons:

• Have fun with someone
• To find "the one" for relationship/marriage
• To have Sex
• Nothing else to do but eat dinner with someone other than being by yourself, 
• etc.

It was unanimous that to bond, you have to give the following:

• Time
• Attention
• Imagination
• Sacrifice
• Friendship
• Acknowledgement that the two parties involved choose to go to the next level of the relationship
• etc

If man was not made to be alone, but we are finding ourselves by ourselves,  according to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, there is a problem emerging at a drastic rate.  Essentially, people are marrying for the wrong reasons, they have not taken the time to "know" who they are, don't ask each other the "right" questions, fail to discuss goals and don't take the time to prepare and invest in the relationship.  Overall, people do not fully prepare themselves!  It's time to REVERSE the PROCESS!

We have to learn that when dating, be honest with yourself as to why you are dating.  If you are dating with the expectation of relationship and/or marriage, it's okay to discuss it, but know how to discuss it.  Going in as a tyrant is not the answer, that would run anyone away.  Develop the art of speech, we all have different voice tones.

When going from the dating phase to the bonding phase, both parties have to be in agreement; that takes two.  Once again, we falter in relationships because we don't take the time to communicate effectively.   Talk about your goals, your wants, your dreams, your desires.  INVEST THE TIME!   You also have to pay attention to one another which requires listening, ask questions, get an understanding.   Then have an IMAGINATION!  Be creative in the relationship, do something different from the norm, instead of dinner for 2 at the elegant restaurant, drive up the coast, have a picnic overlooking the water.

To go to the next level in relationships, sometimes you have to sacrifice.  But trust me, when you are with the person you want to be with, you WILL become selfless and will begin to think about their needs and desires without jeopardizing your own.  The foundation of it all is the FRIENDSHIP!  You can't bond without it.

So, as you go throughout your journey know that in order to have a lasting relationship, it requires you to bond, bonding requires you to talk, talking requires you to open up, opening up requires some vulnerability and the vulnerability requires trust....  We're not designed to be alone, it's going to come up sooner or later, but whether now or later, be prepared.

This blog was written by the Founder of Real Talk the Movement
LaTonya Washington

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I CAN ONLY IMPART TO YOU IF I'M A PART OF YOU...

Have you ever taken an entire day just for you?  I mean to make yourself a nice breakfast, go to the gym, come home take a shower, jump back in the bed if you want to, read a good book, meditate or watch some long overdue TV episodes?  Some times you just have to DO IT for your sanity.  Are you part of a community of people who you simply love to be around, engage in great conversation, give, receive and in a place where possibly your wounded places are healed or you help others heal their wounds? As a matter-of-fact, what do You do for fun---or do you know what fun is?

Today was one of those days for me where I had an entire day lined up and simply made a decision, to sip my coffee, read a good book and write this blog.   I'm learning to enjoy me, to be grateful for my family and those who are close to me, engage with my Real Talk the Movement Family either via Facebook or in person at our forums, go to a Taco Tuesday, hit the beach, simply loving self and others.

Every day I am becoming more and more appreciative of my surroundings, knowing what makes me happy, my likes and dislikes.  It took time to get here and I am so glad I went through the journey of getting to my no more Meantime but walking into my Destiny, My continued Journey.

We Give and are Given To

Every one has a journey, we're individuals part of a community.  Our job is to bring Glory.  We are to be Speakers of Life, Encouragers, People of Substance. All journeys are not the same, just as every snowflake that falls from the sky is not the same...but derive from the same molecules, falling on different areas of soil, nourishing that soil.  We are communal, we are not to hide our gifts from others under a bushel.  So no more hiding.  Remember, there is a community coming up behind us.....what will you impart.....


This blog was written by the Founder of Real Talk the Movement
LaTonya Washington

Soul Tie, Spiritual Tie, whatever you call it....It's a Tie!

Real Talk the Movement Los Angeles

Did you ever ask yourself, what made me get involved with him or her?  Why does my energy seem to want to connect with them?  The answer is:  You've just experienced a spiritual connection.  Whether it turns out to be a great connection or not so great, a lesson within was to be learned.   Because of life, we develop relationship flaws which bring out trust issues, put conditions on love and withdraw from affection.  If you are willing to be open and learn, life has a way of bringing one back to its origin.....Truth.  Do know, we are spiritual beings.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to learn from those who come into your life, whether on a friendship level, romantic level or life partnership level.  Every so often, take some time and look at your relationships and evaluate why this person is here or what have I learned from them. The lessons, which are sometimes extremely difficult for us, should be seen as a higher purpose.  We see that how we choose to react or choose to participate to the relationship reflects the spiritual journey of love, trust, and understanding. We also understand that there are many aspects to the relationship

Respecting what comes from the spiritual connection allows us to have an attitude of appreciation.  This can aid us along our journey of understanding one another.  We are all connected, dots connecting dots.  As noted, Life Finds a Way....  Find Your Way Today!

Blog written by Founder of Real Talk the Movement, LaTonya Washington